Writings: Repentance and Forgiveness

By: Dr. Gregory S. Neal

Way back in the dim misty recesses of the past — on June 7, 1994 — I was ordained by Bishop Blake at Custer Road United Methodist Church in Plano, Texas. Being ordained was a humbling, life-transforming experience. I’ll never forget how badly inadequate I felt: I had the "imposter syndrome." I knew that I wasn’t worthy of being ordained. I knew that I had no business kneeling there, with the Bishop's hands resting on my head, as he prayed the prayer of consecration over me and ordained me a Presbyter, or Elder, of the Church. I knew how flawed I was, how much I failed to measure up to the expectations of the Church and the example of devotion, dedication, and faith set by those who had gone before me in the service of God. Indeed, even though I had been fighting the truth for more than a decade and had been through reparative therapy in an attempt to change, I knew that I was gay; yes, I was going to try to hide that truth about myself for the rest of my life, but I also knew that, had any on the Board of Ordained Ministry or the Bishop known I was gay, I would have been immediately rejected. However, regardless of my doubts and fears, and even despite being gay, I had answered God's calling to ministry ... a calling which we all share as Christians, and which some of us have as their life's vocation.

It's a calling that is clear and straight forward, and doesn’t really allow for much bending or breaking.

“Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things.” (Luke 24:46-48)

The Disciples were his witnesses; they knew him, saw him, experienced his resurrection, and knew him to be alive … alive … alive forevermore! I remember how much I loved that song when I first sang it on my Walk to Emmaus in 1997.

Alive, alive, alive forever more!
My Jesus is alive, alive forever more!
He is alive, alive forever more!
My Jesus is alive!

We may sing that song, and by faith believe it to be true, but the Disciples knew its true by their living experience. They lived with Jesus, walked with Jesus, talked with Jesus, were healed by Jesus, touched by Jesus, transformed by Jesus. Jesus called, them, fed them, forgave them, met with them in his resurrection, and sent them forth to proclaim the Good News to all the world.

And we are called to join them in this task. Ascension Day is the Sunday before Pentecost when we remember our Lord's ascent, or translation, into heaven. For Methodists it is also Aldersgate Sunday, a time when we remember John Wesley's own inner experience of having his "heart strangely warmed." Already a priest of the Church of England, Wesley experienced the indwelling presence of the life of Christ in a new and life-changing way that day, when the fire of God's love was kindled anew in him. We share in Wesley's own experience. Through our own encounter with Christ's risen, life-transforming presence within us we are called to proclaim “repentance and forgiveness of sins to all nations.”

That really is a HUGE calling, my friends.

“Repentance and forgiveness of sins.”

So often Christians are good at demanding the “repentance” part. We're good at beating on people for their sins, heaping guilt and condemnation upon people's head in our own self-righteous zeal that we're right and everybody else is wrong. It’s more difficult for us when it comes to the “forgiveness” part. Sadly, we often don't want to offer that forgiveness. We're rather picky as to who get it.

Notice … the calling is to proclaim repentance and forgiveness to all the nations ... to everybody. Why can’t it just be to us? Right here? We have enough people, right here, who need to hear the gospel, to hear the calling to repentance and forgiveness.

YEP! I agree. We do. And we’re doing a terrible job of it.

Before the pandemic hit, I quoted some statistics regarding church attendance and participation in the religious life. The figures were dismal. The Church is doing a horrible job. Why? Probably because we’ve become too complacent with how things are. We like worshiping next to people we know and like, who look and sound and are like us. We're slow to offer the message of the Love of God in Christ Jesus to all. And, yet, that's what we're called to do.

Will we do it? As we move toward gathering back together for in-person worship, will we offer the love of God to all? Will the message of repentance and forgiveness be proclaimed to all nations ... all peoples, no matter who they are, where they are from, what they look or sound like? Or, will we continue to exclude, reject, judge, and segregate ourselves into "those who are inside" and "all the rest?" That is the question.

In 1994, when I was kneeling for ordination, I knew I didn't deserve to be there. I knew I didn't merit the gift of God's grace for ministry through Ordination. But, the truth is that none of us do; none of us "merit" any of the love, acceptance, or forgiveness that we have received. But it's God who gives it, freely, to us all. And God does … to those we like and to those whom we don't. It's about time we got out of the way of God's mighty working in our lives and in the lives of others.

© 2020, [revised and updated 2023], Dr. Gregory S. Neal
All Rights Reserved